Do you know someone who feels entitled? Have you ever met a manipulator? Chances are the person is a narcissist, especially if he shows more than one sign.
In my novels Be Strong and Pinky Swear, the main character Elizabeth dates and marries a narcissist, Tyrone. She doesn’t know Tyrone is one until she files for divorce a few years after their wedding.
However, if she had seen some of the signs while dating him, she might not have married him.
If you are dating a man like Tyrone yourself, you might rethink staying with him.
At the very least you need to understand who he is. (I use “he” because of #10, but they aren’t always.)
- They are charmers. A narcissist charms a person by giving her things, buying her things, and doing whatever she wants. He wants her to feel like a queen. Elizabeth felt like a queen when she and Tyrone were dating. He took her to a nice restaurant, and during their free time, he wanted to please her and did whatever she wanted.
- They are likable. For the most part a narcissist gets along with everyone. They are nice to those they don’t know as well as those they do. Elizabeth thought Tyrone was a nice man while they dated. He cared about her and what she wanted for her life.
- They have no idea they are one. A narcissist has no clue he is one even if you tell him. In fact, he may even laugh in your face if you suggest he is one. Elizabeth didn’t even know Tyrone was one until she filed for divorce. All she wanted was an amicable divorce, but she got something totally different.
- They are rule breakers. A narcissist thinks rules don’t apply to him. He will do whatever he wants. He will do whatever it takes to get what he wants, and he doesn’t care if he breaks rules along the way. Elizabeth dealt with Tyrone’s broken rules during their marriage as well as during their divorce and custody battle.
- They feel entitled. Our world is becoming more and more entitled, and here’s why. A narcissist feels he is entitled. He feels he is owed for whatever he has done. Elizabeth knew too well that Tyrone had feelings of entitlement.
- They violate boundaries. A narcissist doesn’t care that people have boundaries. He will step across those lines at any time. Tyrone didn’t care what Elizabeth or their children wanted. He would do what he wanted. He didn’t care if he hurt their feelings. It was all about him.
- They send out negative emotions. A narcissist is not usually the most positive person. He tends to look at the world with negativity. Elizabeth lived a life of negativity. She filed for divorce partly because she didn’t want to live that way anymore.
- They manipulate others. Manipulation is one of the things that a narcissist does best. Tyrone manipulated the court system and made himself look like the victim. He made the schools think he was a great and caring dad.
- They interrupt conversations. No matter who is talking, a narcissist will interrupt you. What he has to say is more important than what you say. Many times Elizabeth chatted with Tyrone about any issue, he interrupted her conversations because what he had to say was more important, or so he thought.
- They are more likely to be men. While women can be a narcissist, men are more likely to be one. Elizabeth’s story is one of many in which the narcissist is the man. Again, women can do this, though.
This society, and especially the younger generations, are becoming a more entitled society. If you don’t know a narcissist now, I am sure you will meet one at some point in your life.
I would suggest you understand what a narcissist is. Now that I’ve done the research, I don’t want to be around anyone who is.
Knowing a narcissist is bad enough, but dealing with one is a whole other topic and one I will save for another post.