I feel worthless. I feel especially worthless when it comes to my writing the past few months.
I’ve been home since mid-March because of this pandemic. As you may know, I work in the library at a school, so we closed and never re-opened.
Last Monday, I started back to the day job, and what do I have to show for this time? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Well, maybe little things here and there. But I’ve done nothing toward the bigger writing goals.
Big goals
I know I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, but I can’t help it. Here, I’ve been at home for five months, and I’ve done nothing that matters.
I should have written a book in those five months. Most authors I know can write a book in three to four months. Apparently, not me.
In April and again in July, I signed up for Camp NaNoWriMo, hoping that would motivate me. But nope. I didn’t write one word either month.
Usually, April is a bust because I’m busy with the day job. Not writing in July is so unlike me because I almost always “win”.
I had big goals toward my writing this summer, and it’s over. That makes me sad and mad at myself at the same time.
Break time = worthless
I know we all need a break from time to time. We need to recharge our brains. Usually, breaks help me get back on track.
But for some reason, a lazy day here and there didn’t help. Those days only made me feel a little more worthless.
Planner peace
In June, I tried out a new planner for the upteenth time in the last couple of years, or so it feels like. I had used a planner I bought for a few years until last year when I created one using a template I had bought. It was okay, but it wasn’t doing what I needed it to do.
For this year, I created another one, but after a couple of months, it wasn’t working for me either. So, I ordered the planner I had used before.
And I don’t know why.
I got the planner just as my day job shut down for what, I thought, would be a few weeks. I barely used the planner even after filling up the back pages with various trackers. My heart just wasn’t into it.
In May, enter a new planner. I decided to try the Amplify Planner by downloading the undated sample. I was hooked within a couple of days!
The next thing I know, I’m buying the planner, which was launching in July. Let me say, I couldn’t wait to get it. I was hoping I had finally found the perfect planner (Is there such a thing?), and maybe it would help me with my goals and not make me feel so worthless.
Writing again
In case you haven’t heard or seen the Amplify Planner, it is a monthly, weekly, and daily planner all rolled into one. And I’m using all of it unlike the other planner.
This planner may seem pricey, but it’s worth every penny, especially when it makes me feel worthy.
I use the monthly to schedule my social media posts for each day and blog posts for each week. The daily pages help me do the following: break down work and personal tasks, keep track of my time, build daily habits, track the weather, meals, mood, and word count, and write down one gratitude.
I also use the bottom part of each page for notes and decorate each page with a sticker or two.
And the best part? I’m writing again!
Yes, that’s right. I’m using the weekly pages to journal a little each day—usually 60-75 words. That may not be much, but it pushes me to want to write again.
I know I will write bigger things (like this blog post!) again soon. This past week, I’ve reread through the outline for Second Chances, trying to figure out the ending.
That’s exciting, right?
Anyway, I’m so glad I discovered the Amplify Planner because after almost three months of using it, I don’t feel quite as worthless.
And I know soon I’ll be back to writing books!
What do you do when you feel worthless? I want to hear your strategy!