Thanksgiving is this week. Other than I’ll be off from my day job, it won’t be much different than a normal day for me.
I plan to cook some things for a dinner at noon time, but I’ll be the only one eating. It stinks I’m alone for the holiday.
I’m okay with it, though. I have to be.
And that doesn’t mean I’m not thankful. It doesn’t change the meaning of the holiday for me.
This Thanksgiving
Should I get upset about being alone for the holiday? No, it is what it is. My kids and extended family have their own plans.
They’re adults. They can make their own decisions. And I make my own decision.
Sure, it would be great to be surrounded by my family and friends. But it’s not possible.
I will deal with it the best I can and move on. After all, I do that pretty much every day all the time. Why would this day be any different?
The best part about this holiday is that I can stay in my pajamas all day if I want. I have no place to go, so there’s no need to get dressed. I can watch what I want on TV and can eat whenever I want.
A past Thanksgiving
I’ve been alone for this holiday before. The first year I did National Novel Writing Month I was several thousand words behind. If I remember correctly, I was around 35,000 words. That Thanksgiving weekend, I busted my tail and got those 15,000 words written and won NaNoWriMo. It was a pretty awesome feeling!
And while it didn’t make up for being alone, I had accomplished something without any of the holiday hassle.
A missing family member
Then my mind drifts to this being the first Thanksgiving without Zoe. I know some people may think she’s just a dog.
But not to me. She was a part of my family. I miss her like crazy.
She loved eating some of the human food, what I allowed her to eat, as much as any human. Jessie, my pomchi, enjoys human food, too, but Zoe’s eyes pierced through you. She just had this way of making you feel guilty when you didn’t give her anything.
I’m sure I’ll share a bit with Jessie, but it won’t be the same without Zoe and her big brown eyes.
More memories
While I’m sharing past memories of Thanksgiving, I think back to the one many years ago when my parents took our family’s fur baby, Snoopy, to the vet the day after Thanksgiving. He had had a cancerous growth removed right before I graduated from high school that May, and it had grown back.
The vet couldn’t do anything. He had been surprised Snoopy had made it through the first surgery as old as he was.
We had gotten Snoopy as a puppy, and I had grown up with him. He was 14 years old when my parents put him down that day.
I was devastated.
Holidays are never an easy time to lose a loved one–even a pet. That year I also lost my step-grandpa a couple of weeks later.
I was finishing up my first semester at Indiana University and missed the last week of classes before finals. I wasn’t close to him, but losing another family member that close to the other one dampened the holidays even more.
Final thoughts
This blog past wasn’t meant to be a sad one. However, as I get older, things are more sentimental to me. Time is precious.
Any day we could be here, and the next we’re not.
And I think that’s why I hope that one day, I can look back and say, “I lived a good life.” That’s what I’m thankful for.